Sunday is a nice day...

Well, like the usual me. Sunday morning around 11 will go to have breakfast + lunch with my dad. But the different things are that today I woke up at around 9 and smses with my dear but in the middle, I slept back. And woke up again around 10:30am... Due to my late of reply, she end up went out having lunch with her sis and not me... I missed opportunity to be with her ><

As the day went on, after finished eat with daddy, I went back home to watch animation then go and find my friend "seng". Went to his house to grab few things about PSP (games, cheats, guide) and some movie (autopsy, pathology, and the librarian: curse of the Judas chalice) then went back home after some chit chat with him.

On the way home, I went to buy some fruits from the fruit stall uncle (which was my friend's dad) along with a "char kuey teow" to eat as my lunch. It was around 2:30pm at that moment. I reached home and started to watch the autopsy (a thriller movie about a group of teenager met an accident and being brought to a hospital which will be their nightmare where the doctor and staffs there are using their organs for certain functions) and half way of the librarian. Then time is up for me. It's my Sunday evening swimming time ^^.

My routine on Sunday will normally be 6pm go swimming if nothing much happen. My company will be as usual, Patrick and Jason. I manage to swim 2 whole lap now (I’m not a good swimmer but at least I won't drown ><). Patrick and Jason were good swimmer, far better than me. Got to train hard to match them ^^. And here comes the good part...

We went to a place ... I forget what's the restaurant name but it's located somewhere at pandan jaya. It's a Thai style restaurant which looks like a Chinese store. We order crab, lala, tom yam soup, fried rice, "yau char kuey" that eat with kaya and a veggie. The tastes of the food were delicious ^^. I ate till very happy. It was a nice day. Then we separated and went back home. On the way home, Patrick said his monitor got problem, he put his resolution too high until his monitor can't support and shown "out of range". Thus, we brought the pc to my friend "seng" house to let his brother have a look on it while I take my cable (a 5-pin USB cable for PSP) which I ordered with his bro this noon.

After an hour, can't fix his pc problem. So we end up going back home empty handed (except me as I got my cable ><). And when I got back home, no one at home... All went out to cheras yew lek old town white coffee... Then I realize... my mom kena lottery again... Since it’s late (around 11:30) so I end up didn't go. Instead, I was writing this blog here now ^^.

Throughout the day, I got smses some of my friend and one of it was my dear. I even tried to call since I know she was free (watching TV at home) yet, I was unable to contact her. Even smses also no reply. I attempted to call her again at other times (after I reach the pool, and after I finished swim and finished eat) yet she no answered and no reply at my smses... Well, it's often for her to ignore me which I think I gotten used to it already. Unexpectedly, when I sms her again at 11:45pm to greet her good night, she replied... I guess a special friend relationship with her does not mean much to her since she can choose to ignore me even I just wanted to require some information... Kinda felt "sam tam" from time to time. But what to do, she is my dear, the only dear. I'm a man of my word, what promised is a promise.

That’s all for now folks, good night and sweet dreamz to my friends. NiTeZ ^^

Watching movie...

Yesterday evening, i went out to time square borders and read book. By Dale Carnagie. It was a nice book. Then i went to marathon movie, watchmen and marley & me from 8:30pm until 1:30am. Smsed a person to join me but no reply so i went ahead and watched alone like usual. The movie were not that bad, the plot were ok. The weird thing that occurred to me was that i ain't goin to even have teary eyes when marley die where uually i would since i'm a sentimental person... LOL. Didn't even think of that.

On my way back home, which i choose to walk rather than drive, i felt that the darkness bring me fear and yet a comfort feeling generated out of the fear... Lonesome night sometimes is good... I did tried to smsed out and see who were out there still awake at that hour and only SP replied. She were having frinks with her friends, thus I ain't goin to disturb her. Met with Garry and Patrick on my way back, thus joined them for a mamak eat out for awhile before went back home.

Reached home around 2:40am, then without open the light, felt the darkness around me while i lie down on the floor for about an hour... Then woke up and went on sleep back on my bed...

Awake in the morning by sms from my dear, asking me if got anything that i smsed her yesterday night. Replied her with "i'm ok after rest" and then she invited me to have lunch with her later. But due to I'm still quite sleepy, i replied her late. She end up went on out with her sister. And I'm alone again, due to the sleepy me.

Life was like that... Probably will go for movie again later... depends....

Life of Leo's continue...

Yesterday went to Aloha to help my friend while have some fun myself. Instead, witness how horrible is it a woman can be when she drunk + being accused of things she didn't admit of. It open my eyes. The purpose i went there at 1st is to calm down my feeling by drinking alcohol due to me emotional sadness after heard of certain things... Even now i also feel a bit sad... But i know i should be happy as long as she is happy. So i will try my best to be happy as i know she happy. I really dunno whether i can be happy or not, could i really be? should I? I really don't know... What i know was that I still have heart for her... To make myself happy, or better say, to pretend to be happy is easy but can i really do it? This pretend happy thing... I guess I'll not achieve true happiness anymore... Loving someone too deep sure is painful... I will try my best to be happy even i have to pretend it my whole life. It still hurts when i thinking back of the things going to happen... emotional sadness can't be avoid yet i have to be happy at the same time cause she happy... Will i be able to do it? Am i strong enough to? Malcolm... be strong...

Friends in My Life...

Those who knew me will know that I put friends at a very high level in my life. Friends were very important to me. But during these few days especially today, there were total of 3 friends that going to decrease their level and might leave me... I really couldn't withhold the triple hurt i experienced. It's very sad. One was my dear, one was my ex and one was my friend. All three of them were having a good friendship with me until these few days... Some were from best friend to just friend, some from friend to nothing. One neglected me and enjoyed herself. Life s*cks when it come to losing friends for me.
Felt really down and sad here... If tomorrow no need to work, I'm sure I'll get drunk tonight. Anyhow, I know I have to move on no matter what happened. Guessed that was my punishment given by god. I used to lose 1 important friend... It's really hurt... Now 3... I really hope I can cope with it...

Attcked by Past Memories...

I've been attacked by my past memories these few days. It made me unable to concentrate on works and unable to focus on my life. I really didn't felt happy or cheerful these few days. Just now I read back the sms-es that she sent to me before. I already felt extremely sad when i read the 1st message... And tears started to flow even though I was at public place... After reached home, i put on courage to read all of it. Which lead to me crying... I understand that everything was past. And there is something that can’t be undone… I respect her decision…

Well, I will try my best to be cheerful back. ^^. Just hope that less and less attack will be made.

Apart from being attacked by past memories, my life weren’t happy at all these few days due to other factors. One of them was my attempt to move on. Others due to friendship problems and my character/personality problems…

It is hard enough even though I want to have a peaceful and cheerful life…