It's been a long time since i last blogged... I really thought that i will be gone from this world as i attempt to suicicde before, Just that i still manage to wake up in the next morning which made my attempt to suicde failed. Well here i'm now to continue on with my blog.
My life is been a suffering life as usual as i couldn't forget about my love one... though it is almost half years now. I still in grief about losing her... I'm still punishing myslf from time to time and alcohol had become one of my close friend now... Though i cant drink alot but i almost drink 1 or 2 cup every night to make myself sober so that i can go to sleep easier rather than continue to think think think and think.
I'm quite lucky for me to enter public bank and work over there now. It's just located within the walking distance which is the Changkat Tambi Dollah branch. I know most of u haven't have an idea where is it. ^^ It is just located behind Times Square and some where near Eu Yan Sang headquarter. Working in there as a graduate trainee in banking operation @ senior operation officer. Nth much to do as the job description. Just signed cheques everyday and confirming cheques right now. And recently, like usual, i found myself unable to concentrate on my work already as i get used to it... My concentration fall into the memory of being together with her... Which make me feels so down... Luckily i still manage to control my working performance. Today, though i'm extremely down but i didn't do any mistake ^^.
Day by day passes by but i still couldn't forget about her... which made me more grieved everyday. Been crying alot... And i'm not ashamed to tell out that i do cried every night before i sleep and when i wake up everyday since September 11...
And now after alot of consultation with my friends and colleagues, I've choosen a new path which i never thought of before. As it is contradicted to my principle but since i really couldn't forget about her... It is time for me to make some action... If not, i really will be regreting over it my whole life as i afraid i will be waiting here patiently, loving her one sided till she marry another person. I will make some action from now one. I belive one should go after what they wish for when they still can and not just sit and wait. As nth will happen as u just sit and wait without doing anything.
My new path will begin this coming saturday 18th of October 2008. A new legacy will born from me... Though i know my chances aren't high... I'll still pursue what i think is right for me to do so that i won't feel more regret than whatever i'm having now. As i have made a vow that i will love her forever, i will keep that till my last breath no matter what happened. Worst case, i will stay single for my life with my one sided love...
Love... really have changed my life alot... Becoming more matured in thinking and behavior... I have cure myself from my self injured... but the effect from my previous self injured still affecting me till now though it have been 3 months... And currently, my appendix wound which should be alright started to attack me again... The pain is undescribable... Somehow... i feel happy that i'm in such a condition as i believe it is a good punishment for me. Somepart of me... would like to be gone from this world... As i have been dreaming about suicide recently and been thinking about it too... I knowit is a warning signs... But i will try my best to avoid from doin it as i know there are still people that cares for me...
Thats all for now folks, I will continue to blog again when i have free time and new news. (If i'm still alive by then...)
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
10 Benefits of Rising Early, and How to Do It
“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” - Ben Franklin, famously
“Put no trust in the benefits to accrue from early rising, as set forth by the infatuated Franklin …” - Mark Twain
1. Greet the day. I love being able to get up, and greet a wonderful new day. I suggest creating a morning ritual that includes saying thanks for your blessings. I’m inspired by the Dalai Lama, who said, ” Everyday, think as you wake up, ‘today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.’ “
2. Amazing start. I used to start my day by jumping out of bed, late as usual, and rushing to get myself and the kids ready, and rushing to drop them to school and come in to work late. I would walk into work, looking rumpled and barely awake, grumpy and behind everyone else. Not a great start to your day. Now, I have a renewing morning ritual, I’ve gotten so much done before 8 a.m., my kids are early and so am I, and by the time everyone else gets in to work, I’ve already gotten a head start. There is no better way to start off your day than to wake early, in my experience.
3. Quietude. No kids yelling, no babies crying, no soccer balls, no cars, no television noise. The early morning hours are so peaceful, so quiet. It’s my favorite time of day. I truly enjoy that time of peace, that time to myself, when I can think, when I can read, when I can breathe.
4. Sunrise. People who wake late miss one of the greatest feats of nature, repeated in full stereovision each and every day — the rise of the sun. I love how the day slowly gets brighter, when the midnight blue turns to lighter blue, when the brilliant colors start to seep into the sky, when nature is painted in incredible colors. I like doing my early morning run during this time, and I look up at the sky as I run and say to the world, “What a glorious day!” Really. I really do that. Corny, I know.
5. Breakfast. Rise early and you actually have time for breakfast. I’m told it’s one of the most important meals of the day. Without breakfast, your body is running on fumes until you are so hungry at lunchtime that you eat whatever unhealthy thing you can find. The fattier and sugarier, the betterier. But eat breakfast, and you are sated until later. Plus, eating breakfast while reading my book and drinking my coffee in the quiet of the morning is eminently more enjoyable than scarfing something down on the way to work, or at your desk.
6. Exercise. There are other times to exercise besides the early morning, of course, but I’ve found that while exercising right after work is also very enjoyable, it’s also liable to be canceled because of other things that come up. Morning exercise is virtually never canceled.
7. Productivity. Mornings, for me at least, are the most productive time of day. I like to do some writing in the morning, when there are no distractions, before I check my email or blog stats. I get so much more done by starting on my work in the morning. Then, when evening rolls around, I have no work that I need to do, and I can spend it with family.
8. Goal time. Got goals? Well, you should. And there’s no better time to review them and plan for them and do your goal tasks than first thing. You should have one goal that you want to accomplish this week. And every morning, you should decide what one thing you can do today to move yourself further towards that goal. And then, if possible, do that first thing in the morning.
9. Commute. No one likes rush-hour traffic, except for Big Oil. Commute early, and the traffic is much lighter, and you get to work faster, and thus save yourself more time. Or better yet, commute by bike. (Or even better yet, work from home.)
10. Appointments. It’s much easier to make those early appointments on time if you get up early. Showing up late for those appointments is a bad signal to the person you’re meeting. Showing up early will impress them. Plus, you get time to prepare.
How to Become an Early Riser
* Don’t make drastic changes. Start slowly, by waking just 15-30 minutes earlier than usual. Get used to this for a few days. Then cut back another 15 minutes. Do this gradually until you get to your goal time.
* Allow yourself to sleep earlier. You might be used to staying up late, perhaps watching TV or surfing the Internet. But if you continue this habit, while trying to get up earlier, sooner or later one is going to give. And if it is the early rising that gives, then you will crash and sleep late and have to start over. I suggest going to bed earlier, even if you don’t think you’ll sleep, and read while in bed. If you’re really tired, you just might fall asleep much sooner than you think.
* Put your alarm clock far from you bed. If it’s right next to your bed, you’ll shut it off or hit snooze. Never hit snooze. If it’s far from your bed, you have to get up out of bed to shut it off. By then, you’re up. Now you just have to stay up.
* Go out of the bedroom as soon as you shut off the alarm. Don’t allow yourself to rationalize going back to bed. Just force yourself to go out of the room. My habit is to stumble into the bathroom and go pee. By the time I’ve done that, and flushed the toilet and washed my hands and looked at my ugly mug in the mirror, I’m awake enough to face the day.
* Do not rationalize. If you allow your brain to talk you out of getting up early, you’ll never do it. Don’t make getting back in bed an option.
* Have a good reason. Set something to do early in the morning that’s important. This reason will motivate you to get up. I like to write in the morning, so that’s my reason. Also, when I’m done with that, I like to read all of your comments!
* Make waking up early a reward. Yes, it might seem at first that you’re forcing yourself to do something hard, but if you make it pleasurable, soon you will look forward to waking up early. A good reward is to make a hot cup of coffee or tea and read a book. Other rewards might be a tasty treat for breakfast (smoothies! yum!) or watching the sunrise, or meditating. Find something that’s pleasurable for you, and allow yourself to do it as part of your morning routine.
* Take advantage of all that extra time. Don’t wake up an hour or two early just to read your blogs, unless that’s a major goal of yours. Don’t wake up early and waste that extra time. Get a jump start on your day! I like to use that time to get a head start on preparing my kids’ lunches, on planning for the rest of the day (when I set my MITs), on exercising or meditating, and on reading. By the time 6:30 rolls around, I’ve done more than many people do the entire day.
Thanks to : Leo B. a free-lance writer ( uncopyright article )
“Put no trust in the benefits to accrue from early rising, as set forth by the infatuated Franklin …” - Mark Twain
1. Greet the day. I love being able to get up, and greet a wonderful new day. I suggest creating a morning ritual that includes saying thanks for your blessings. I’m inspired by the Dalai Lama, who said, ” Everyday, think as you wake up, ‘today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.’ “
2. Amazing start. I used to start my day by jumping out of bed, late as usual, and rushing to get myself and the kids ready, and rushing to drop them to school and come in to work late. I would walk into work, looking rumpled and barely awake, grumpy and behind everyone else. Not a great start to your day. Now, I have a renewing morning ritual, I’ve gotten so much done before 8 a.m., my kids are early and so am I, and by the time everyone else gets in to work, I’ve already gotten a head start. There is no better way to start off your day than to wake early, in my experience.
3. Quietude. No kids yelling, no babies crying, no soccer balls, no cars, no television noise. The early morning hours are so peaceful, so quiet. It’s my favorite time of day. I truly enjoy that time of peace, that time to myself, when I can think, when I can read, when I can breathe.
4. Sunrise. People who wake late miss one of the greatest feats of nature, repeated in full stereovision each and every day — the rise of the sun. I love how the day slowly gets brighter, when the midnight blue turns to lighter blue, when the brilliant colors start to seep into the sky, when nature is painted in incredible colors. I like doing my early morning run during this time, and I look up at the sky as I run and say to the world, “What a glorious day!” Really. I really do that. Corny, I know.
5. Breakfast. Rise early and you actually have time for breakfast. I’m told it’s one of the most important meals of the day. Without breakfast, your body is running on fumes until you are so hungry at lunchtime that you eat whatever unhealthy thing you can find. The fattier and sugarier, the betterier. But eat breakfast, and you are sated until later. Plus, eating breakfast while reading my book and drinking my coffee in the quiet of the morning is eminently more enjoyable than scarfing something down on the way to work, or at your desk.
6. Exercise. There are other times to exercise besides the early morning, of course, but I’ve found that while exercising right after work is also very enjoyable, it’s also liable to be canceled because of other things that come up. Morning exercise is virtually never canceled.
7. Productivity. Mornings, for me at least, are the most productive time of day. I like to do some writing in the morning, when there are no distractions, before I check my email or blog stats. I get so much more done by starting on my work in the morning. Then, when evening rolls around, I have no work that I need to do, and I can spend it with family.
8. Goal time. Got goals? Well, you should. And there’s no better time to review them and plan for them and do your goal tasks than first thing. You should have one goal that you want to accomplish this week. And every morning, you should decide what one thing you can do today to move yourself further towards that goal. And then, if possible, do that first thing in the morning.
9. Commute. No one likes rush-hour traffic, except for Big Oil. Commute early, and the traffic is much lighter, and you get to work faster, and thus save yourself more time. Or better yet, commute by bike. (Or even better yet, work from home.)
10. Appointments. It’s much easier to make those early appointments on time if you get up early. Showing up late for those appointments is a bad signal to the person you’re meeting. Showing up early will impress them. Plus, you get time to prepare.
How to Become an Early Riser
* Don’t make drastic changes. Start slowly, by waking just 15-30 minutes earlier than usual. Get used to this for a few days. Then cut back another 15 minutes. Do this gradually until you get to your goal time.
* Allow yourself to sleep earlier. You might be used to staying up late, perhaps watching TV or surfing the Internet. But if you continue this habit, while trying to get up earlier, sooner or later one is going to give. And if it is the early rising that gives, then you will crash and sleep late and have to start over. I suggest going to bed earlier, even if you don’t think you’ll sleep, and read while in bed. If you’re really tired, you just might fall asleep much sooner than you think.
* Put your alarm clock far from you bed. If it’s right next to your bed, you’ll shut it off or hit snooze. Never hit snooze. If it’s far from your bed, you have to get up out of bed to shut it off. By then, you’re up. Now you just have to stay up.
* Go out of the bedroom as soon as you shut off the alarm. Don’t allow yourself to rationalize going back to bed. Just force yourself to go out of the room. My habit is to stumble into the bathroom and go pee. By the time I’ve done that, and flushed the toilet and washed my hands and looked at my ugly mug in the mirror, I’m awake enough to face the day.
* Do not rationalize. If you allow your brain to talk you out of getting up early, you’ll never do it. Don’t make getting back in bed an option.
* Have a good reason. Set something to do early in the morning that’s important. This reason will motivate you to get up. I like to write in the morning, so that’s my reason. Also, when I’m done with that, I like to read all of your comments!
* Make waking up early a reward. Yes, it might seem at first that you’re forcing yourself to do something hard, but if you make it pleasurable, soon you will look forward to waking up early. A good reward is to make a hot cup of coffee or tea and read a book. Other rewards might be a tasty treat for breakfast (smoothies! yum!) or watching the sunrise, or meditating. Find something that’s pleasurable for you, and allow yourself to do it as part of your morning routine.
* Take advantage of all that extra time. Don’t wake up an hour or two early just to read your blogs, unless that’s a major goal of yours. Don’t wake up early and waste that extra time. Get a jump start on your day! I like to use that time to get a head start on preparing my kids’ lunches, on planning for the rest of the day (when I set my MITs), on exercising or meditating, and on reading. By the time 6:30 rolls around, I’ve done more than many people do the entire day.
Thanks to : Leo B. a free-lance writer ( uncopyright article )
Monday, August 25, 2008
I regret nothing...
Not the times I broke you down
Not the times someone broke me down
Not the times I loved and lost
Not love or all it's costsI do not regret losing friends
I do not regret making enemies
I do not regret losing touch
I do not regret the time I've wasted
I will not learn to regret
Time in regret is time not well spent.....
I don't regret you
I don't regret any of you
I don't regret choices you have made that have hurt me so badly
I don't regret the lack of remorse you have shown at times
I don't regret the times I lost faith in my life
I don't regret the times that I felt that I could spend the rest of my life with you
I don't regret the times that you told me to tell you I loved you
I won't regret the cold shoulders you gave me
I won't regret the times you never called back
I won't regret the times you never wrote back
I won't regret the thousands upon thousands of words in emails I wrote
I refuse to regret the fact that my mind isn't ready to drop you
I refuse to regret the moment where I'm going to turn away from you
I have lived a life of regrets,
I have felt the burden of regret for too long
I have been a part of life's pointless competition...
This world where we care more about making it than we do about our friends making it
This world where people claim love but clearly don't know what the fuck it is
This world where people break one another down while smiling in each other's face
This world where you will no longer see me filled with regrets
This world where you will be reading my blog ...
The blog that says you know where I am if you need me...
Not the times someone broke me down
Not the times I loved and lost
Not love or all it's costsI do not regret losing friends
I do not regret making enemies
I do not regret losing touch
I do not regret the time I've wasted
I will not learn to regret
Time in regret is time not well spent.....
I don't regret you
I don't regret any of you
I don't regret choices you have made that have hurt me so badly
I don't regret the lack of remorse you have shown at times
I don't regret the times I lost faith in my life
I don't regret the times that I felt that I could spend the rest of my life with you
I don't regret the times that you told me to tell you I loved you
I won't regret the cold shoulders you gave me
I won't regret the times you never called back
I won't regret the times you never wrote back
I won't regret the thousands upon thousands of words in emails I wrote
I refuse to regret the fact that my mind isn't ready to drop you
I refuse to regret the moment where I'm going to turn away from you
I have lived a life of regrets,
I have felt the burden of regret for too long
I have been a part of life's pointless competition...
This world where we care more about making it than we do about our friends making it
This world where people claim love but clearly don't know what the fuck it is
This world where people break one another down while smiling in each other's face
This world where you will no longer see me filled with regrets
This world where you will be reading my blog ...
The blog that says you know where I am if you need me...
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Ghost Festivals
Today is lunar calendar july 14th which is the ghost festival day... and i will be joining them to be a ghost...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Working also think of her...
Today is the second day of my work... My work require me to smile alot but i felt it very hard for me to smile it out. Being scold by my senior quite a numbers of time because not enough of smile. But how can i smile... its very hard... Even working.. i'm thinking of her... Though i'm quite busy with my works, i dunno why my mind still have her with me.... I totally cant forget about her every moment... have watery eyes today while working cause i saw a lovely couple where they very close with each others... It reminds me of her... our time together then the water came out... I control myself on time... thus no tears came out but it's very hard for me to continue on to smile. The job is nice and have a bright prospect but i dunno i manage to do it well or not with the feeling i'm having... Reach home around 9:30pm today... my work takes out most of my time... I tot that i can forget and not think about her with my works but it seem totally different... i think of her even more. If being continue to scold not enough smile, i guess i will get fire soon... My life now is really painful than death... Luckily, i only need to suffer and bear with the pain 26 hours more and i can totally rest in peace. Those that want to say anything to me or I owe them anything, do call me up before it is too late. Take care all my friends...
Rather die then survive
I never thought that survive and continue to live on will be such painful. Its 1000% more painful than death right now. Everyday after work, that feeling will come and visit me... Suffering every night... looking for her to share but i guess she is not that interested in my story anymore. As i'm continue to plan going off after i think that it is very suffering to continue on. Most Probably my blog end right here right now. Everyone around me were lying to me, including her. For what i kept what i said then? Till now, there are 40 hours left before i go. If there is anything one who i owe them anything. Pls contact me to get it back now or it will be too late. For those who cares for me. I'm very very thanks but i decided. I know i will disappoint you all but the feeling right now is very painful. Very much painful than before and thus i made such decision. This will be the end of it. Thx and sorry... Farewell and good bye
Thursday, July 24, 2008
My heart...
Tonight, i'm going to conclude that my birthday this year will be different from last 2 years where i will be spending it alone and not with her... This day will be the day i wont forget in my life. And today was also the day i felt a spiritual feeling of "losing". And after that, came with serious pain in my heart... I guess i have to learn to control my emotion well... if not it will continue to hurt... it's very pain even while i'm typing this out. I guess the hardest day for me to pass in this years will be my coming birthday which i had to spent it alone... And "alone", the feeling i afraid of the most have came back to me... It's very hard to control my emotion with such pain in heart and the feeling of alone... Will i be able to live till christmas this year? My heart is really in pain...
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
MAKING A BABY (Very funny jokes)
This jokes i got it from my multiply. Just tot of sharing it here ^^
MAKING A BABY There is not one dirty word in it.....
The Smiths were unable to conceive and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" [Hide Quoted Text]
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that. [Hide Quoted Text]
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look".
Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted .......
MAKING A BABY There is not one dirty word in it.....
The Smiths were unable to conceive and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" [Hide Quoted Text]
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that. [Hide Quoted Text]
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look".
Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted .......
Birthday...
My birthday is just around the corner... I still not confirm whether i will be celebrating it alone this year or not... Hoping for miracle to happen here...23 years old birthday, once past, there will not be another 23rd birthday anymore...
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Today i have told her about my feelings, views, and all about myself to her. I hope she can understand me better this way and have a happier life without thinking me as her burden. I hope and wish that she will give in some thought on what I had said to her. Here is a phrase that i found in other blog. I find it very true.
"Past is something that cant be change and we have to accept it to move on. Our love story before may not be good but we have to accept it and move on.
Future is something unpredictable as who knows what will happen the seconds after. Thinking too far into the future of our love will only make ourself miserable. Afraid that choosing the wrong partner to love, afraid of being hurt in the future. All this will only hinder the growth of love. Who knows what will happen in the future.
Present is what we should focus on. Love is something that not everyone have the chances to stumble upon on. Some may find it easily and some may not. So appreciate those around you now. If u think there is a chance for you to fall in love, why not? If you are given the chance to love, accept it. Make a difference in your life today, as you will never know what the outcomes are. It may end up positively or vice versa. Who knows. What matters the most is the present, the feelings of love that we have for each other now.
Don't deny yourself of love, for you'll bring suffering to yourself. You might even regret it, for not taking the "road not taken". You might grunt at yourself, 10 years later, for not choosing the other option. Learn to accept. Learn to love. "
As for me right now, even though i know it's gonna be hard for her to come back to me but my choice is to continue to love her. Who knows what may lies in our future. I won't deny myself of love. I know i did very wrong in my past. I were wrong, very wrong. I sincerely apologize. I'm willing to do anything to repent. I promise that same incidents won't happen again. Please forgive me ting. I LOVE YOU FOREVER TING. When i say "I Love You", i mean it so that we can walk into the future unafraid together, I mean that you're the best thing that happened to me and i know no matter what, I'll keep my promise of love to you ting. I love you.
"Past is something that cant be change and we have to accept it to move on. Our love story before may not be good but we have to accept it and move on.
Future is something unpredictable as who knows what will happen the seconds after. Thinking too far into the future of our love will only make ourself miserable. Afraid that choosing the wrong partner to love, afraid of being hurt in the future. All this will only hinder the growth of love. Who knows what will happen in the future.
Present is what we should focus on. Love is something that not everyone have the chances to stumble upon on. Some may find it easily and some may not. So appreciate those around you now. If u think there is a chance for you to fall in love, why not? If you are given the chance to love, accept it. Make a difference in your life today, as you will never know what the outcomes are. It may end up positively or vice versa. Who knows. What matters the most is the present, the feelings of love that we have for each other now.
Don't deny yourself of love, for you'll bring suffering to yourself. You might even regret it, for not taking the "road not taken". You might grunt at yourself, 10 years later, for not choosing the other option. Learn to accept. Learn to love. "
As for me right now, even though i know it's gonna be hard for her to come back to me but my choice is to continue to love her. Who knows what may lies in our future. I won't deny myself of love. I know i did very wrong in my past. I were wrong, very wrong. I sincerely apologize. I'm willing to do anything to repent. I promise that same incidents won't happen again. Please forgive me ting. I LOVE YOU FOREVER TING. When i say "I Love You", i mean it so that we can walk into the future unafraid together, I mean that you're the best thing that happened to me and i know no matter what, I'll keep my promise of love to you ting. I love you.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
There are some generalized tips on how to make good and lasting relationship.
There are some generalized tips on how to make good and lasting relationship.
1 Listen to your beloved.
2 Try to show tolerance and be open-minded. Avoid showing sarcasm and negativity. In general, anything that can cause you a bad mood or her bad mood should be avoided.
3 You should learn to give as well as to take - to give or take is not the answer, only a combination of the two in equal measure.
4 Try to make your partner's parents like you. It is very important for both of you.
5 Learn to give unconditionally. To expect always something in return is the same as paying for something.
6 Avoid being too emotional in your everyday life. It can be especially applied to males. You will have to convince your beloved that you are strong; that you are self-confident; that you know what to do; and that she can rely on your emotional strength to be a help for her.
7 Kindness, understanding, trust and consideration are the keywords in relationships. If you are only trying to derive benefit from these relationships, forget about mutual understanding.
8 In every relationship it is important to be a good and reliable friend. If you are your beloved's understanding friend, she/he will be grateful and rewarding.
9 Don't let anyone treat you abusively. Demand respect.
10 If your relationships are established, you should carry on showing your beloved that you love and appreciate him/her. It is not difficult. You can do this by little things as buying flowers and small presents from time to time.
11 Beware of possessiveness and claiming behavior. Keep in mind that your partner is as independent as you are and should never be treated as an object or possession.
12 Don't let other people push your buttons. Otherwise you won't be able to make any decision by yourself.
13 Learn to adjourn your recompense through patience, trust and understanding.
14 Try to see your partner's point of view. Agree to disagree.
15 Respect your partner's space.
Lipstick in school (funny jokes)
Lipstick in School (You've got to love this Headmistress)
According to a news report, a certain private school in Newcastle upon Tyne was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the Headmistress decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with themaintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing amajor problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night [you can just imagine the yawns from the little Geordie 'Princesses'). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, sheasked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort wasrequired.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers....
........and then there are educators
~18th July 2008~
It's been a long time since i felt really happy. And on this day I'm ^^. Able to be happy again after so long, really cure away my fever. But only happy for 1 day cant cure away my MDD.
Today on 20th July 2008 around 2 something in the morning, I was enlighten by a book entitle "Love is Letting Go of Fear". The book was very nice. It helps me alot. I never regret buying this book ^^. Ting, I love you more and more now ^^
Today on 20th July 2008 around 2 something in the morning, I was enlighten by a book entitle "Love is Letting Go of Fear". The book was very nice. It helps me alot. I never regret buying this book ^^. Ting, I love you more and more now ^^
Can't Smile Without You
Here is the song sang in the movie Hellboy 2, Cant smile without you. I deeply touch by it. Thus, i'm sharing it out with u guys out there with the lyrics together. Let's sing ^^
You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you
You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who would have believed that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away
And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile
Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me
And you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you
Saturday, July 19, 2008
A word of appreciation
Ting, i would like to say thank you to you for allowing me to know what is life. Thank you ting for letting me know what is happiness. Being with you these 2 years plus let me understand what happiness really means. These 2 years plus will always be the happiest moment i have in my life. Ting, thank you again for letting me know what is sadness. After breaking up with you, i realize that i still love you and tried my best to court you back but you choose not to love me anymore. It let me know what the true meaning of sadness at that moment. Hearing someone you love telling you "i do not love you" makes me realize what is sadness. Thank you ting. Thank you again ting for allowing me to know what is regret. As in my life before, regret never occurred even once. But right now when i lose you, i understand well what is the meaning of regret. Lastly, thank you ting for allowing me to know what life is. You let me know how colourful living in this world were. There are brightness and also darkness. You let me know what is happiness and also what is sadness. Thanks ting for letting me experienced the meaning of life. I never ever regret loving you ting. You taught me alot of things. You taught me to eat healthy food, to clean up and arrange my things in a proper way, taught me what love means and also how hurt is it to hurt your love one. You really teaches me alot of things in my life ting. Thank you. I would like to repay all these to you with my life if can. Thanks again ting, i will always love you.
Movie alone
Have any one of you there experience going to movie alone? I have numerous experiences on this... The 1st time i went to watch movie alone was to watch "L change the world". Because no ppl would want to company me watch this movie... I ended up watching it alone. The feeling was very sad cause no body around you to share with... Today, i went to watch alone again for the movie "Hellboy 2: The Golden Army". When i 1st seated inside the cinema hall today, i felt like smiling + crying. Then when the movie start, felt better as i concentrated on the movie. But when the movie finish, i felt like want to cry. Cause i'm all alone with no one to share the story with. The feeling was not nice at all. I dun think i will ever watch movie alone again...
Friday, July 18, 2008
Feeling very regret
This have been a long time since i touch back this blog. I never tot that i will be touching this blog ever again since have friendster. But well, it seem i did it today. I really regret on my past right now cause i made my love one left me. It were all my fault where i betray her love towards me by fall to other girl. But in the end, before i really work up with that girl. I realize that she is not the one for me and my babe, Ting Ting is. I realize that i love her very much. But all because of I handle it wrongly where we break up during our most important final exam. I made her grade drop 1 level which makes her hate me more. She and her family were those education type. They look education as a very important aspect. And because of all this, even though i realize that the one i truly love is her, it's all too late... She dun love me anymore. She told me she totally dun love me anymore... It hurts me like hell, I would like to directly suicide that day.
Now it's been 2 month after we break... and I have suffer from major depression disorder now. Loving someone that doesn't love you back at all it very suffering. Whenever u think she is close with another guy, u feel jealous and will be sad and depress. Because of thinking about such things, I've been crying like hell constantly. I knew a guy shouldn't cry but i cant stop it from flowing out of my eyes. I really love her... One of my friend said, "is not worth it even though you love her back and u suffering like this. If she love you, she won't made me suffer like this." Ya I know that well, I'm suffering because she dun love me anymore. Ya, i may seem stupid fro some of you there reading my blog because i'm loving a girl that does not love me anymore and fall for other guys. But the choice is mine and who i love is my choice. Even though i know i have no hope, won't be happy and will be suffering for sure. I still choose to love her because i know, she really is, my true love. I will continue to love her till my last breath in this cruel world which eventually taught her to be cruel to me. I'm not blaming others here. I'm only blaming myself on this because it ended up like this all because of me who handle it wrongly, who betray her love. I'm a jerk, a scum, a low life being. From time to time... i would really want to go far away from this place and finish up my life because it is really very suffering. But, I still have my mom who i need to take care of and I also dun want her to be sad for me and felt guilty for it even though is not her fault because to suicide or not is my choice. I may seem very stupid in love. Yes i truly were stupid cause i let it ended up like this. Every day and night, I've been missing her... looking back at our pictures together, i cried... looking back at the things that she bought for me and made for me, I cried because it helds no meaning anymore... looking back at her belonging that still at my place brings back memories of us being together, felt happy for a second but then when focus back on present, she had already part away from me... felt damn sad... depressing and regret on what I did were all I did...
Ended up now, I'm having Major Depressive Disorder plus with a high fever where i did not plan to eat any medicine... Let's see when will i be hospitalize or i can still go on like usual. Alot of strange pain occurred inside my body frequently now. My injured place, my stomach, my head, and especially, my heart and my chest. It is all Hurt like hell. Is not that i dun take care of my health, I've already done what i can. It still end up this way, I can't control it. As I'm doing muti (eat only plain water and plain rice), I'm not allow to take medicine. So let's see how many days more till I collapse. Thats all for now folks... See whether I still have chance to touch this blog ever again or not...
Now it's been 2 month after we break... and I have suffer from major depression disorder now. Loving someone that doesn't love you back at all it very suffering. Whenever u think she is close with another guy, u feel jealous and will be sad and depress. Because of thinking about such things, I've been crying like hell constantly. I knew a guy shouldn't cry but i cant stop it from flowing out of my eyes. I really love her... One of my friend said, "is not worth it even though you love her back and u suffering like this. If she love you, she won't made me suffer like this." Ya I know that well, I'm suffering because she dun love me anymore. Ya, i may seem stupid fro some of you there reading my blog because i'm loving a girl that does not love me anymore and fall for other guys. But the choice is mine and who i love is my choice. Even though i know i have no hope, won't be happy and will be suffering for sure. I still choose to love her because i know, she really is, my true love. I will continue to love her till my last breath in this cruel world which eventually taught her to be cruel to me. I'm not blaming others here. I'm only blaming myself on this because it ended up like this all because of me who handle it wrongly, who betray her love. I'm a jerk, a scum, a low life being. From time to time... i would really want to go far away from this place and finish up my life because it is really very suffering. But, I still have my mom who i need to take care of and I also dun want her to be sad for me and felt guilty for it even though is not her fault because to suicide or not is my choice. I may seem very stupid in love. Yes i truly were stupid cause i let it ended up like this. Every day and night, I've been missing her... looking back at our pictures together, i cried... looking back at the things that she bought for me and made for me, I cried because it helds no meaning anymore... looking back at her belonging that still at my place brings back memories of us being together, felt happy for a second but then when focus back on present, she had already part away from me... felt damn sad... depressing and regret on what I did were all I did...
Ended up now, I'm having Major Depressive Disorder plus with a high fever where i did not plan to eat any medicine... Let's see when will i be hospitalize or i can still go on like usual. Alot of strange pain occurred inside my body frequently now. My injured place, my stomach, my head, and especially, my heart and my chest. It is all Hurt like hell. Is not that i dun take care of my health, I've already done what i can. It still end up this way, I can't control it. As I'm doing muti (eat only plain water and plain rice), I'm not allow to take medicine. So let's see how many days more till I collapse. Thats all for now folks... See whether I still have chance to touch this blog ever again or not...
Saturday, February 9, 2008
On the 8th of February 2008
Today as usual, wake up then go eat breakfast with family but its was a bit hard for me to wake up due to the alcohol effect i drank last night. Anyway, i manage to get up and ate with them. I went for a day out after that with a friend and i enjoy the time very well since its not always got the opportunity to meet up. When reach home, having an opening CNY meal where my mom called it that way with family. My buddy came to pai nian after the meal i had and then we had a mahjong game. Win abit ^^. Then went to my granny place to continue play some gambling till ended up i lose some cash -_- . Then now here i am typing this blog to jot down what happened today in my life. I will try to find times to write blog everyday from now on. So do try to read and give some comment if can ^^.
Friday, February 8, 2008
On the 7th of February 2008
Today was a very happy day where i spent my day Happily. I enjoyed the moment we have together during the afternoon and evening. We went for a movie, eat out and a walk. Though its just a normal dating day out but i do really enjoyed it very much. I know that time cant go backward but if can, i hope it will.
Currently i'm at my friend house pai nian while gambling. It's 0120 now and they are still gambling outside while i'm here inside typing this blog coz i just afraid i forget do this entry of blog which means a special day in my life. I've been drinking and i think today i manage break my level where i drank more than i can normally. Maybe its becoz i was very happy and currently is CNY. Anyway, i just hope happiness can reach me and all my other friends ^^
Happy Happy Happy ^^
Currently i'm at my friend house pai nian while gambling. It's 0120 now and they are still gambling outside while i'm here inside typing this blog coz i just afraid i forget do this entry of blog which means a special day in my life. I've been drinking and i think today i manage break my level where i drank more than i can normally. Maybe its becoz i was very happy and currently is CNY. Anyway, i just hope happiness can reach me and all my other friends ^^
Happy Happy Happy ^^
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